How to Shake Hands with Someone

Never break eye-contact. 

Did you know when it comes to a handshake, if you don't make eye contact, you're immediately seen as less confident? I learned this is one of my professional training seminars. It is easy to be nervous walking into a social situation and look down to make sure you don't miss a person's hand. This makes you appear uncertain and unsure. In actuality, you can see your hands out of your peripheral, so you would rarely miss, and can thus maintain eye contact and exude the aforementioned confidence. 

Of course, we're not talking excessive staring. Since you will most likely be talking with someone, saying things like 'good to see you again' or 'nice to meet you, I am _____', you'll be walking into a situation where natural speak should be coupled with strong contact to demonstrate self-worth and power.

We could talk about cultural customs or whose hand goes on top of whom at a later time, but for now, we'll stick with the traditional shake:
 
As your hands come towards one another, the space between your thumb and index finger will touch theirs, and your fingers will wrap around the palm and lay on the back or side of the hand. Grasp strongly.

Some people suggest squeezing only as hard as the other person if you are in the less powerful position or having a firm shake if you are displaying dominance.

Remember, at the end of the day, it is just a handshake. Some people don't even prefer them at all. As long as you are being yourself and being confident in how your respond and speak, you will be just fine. 

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+ What do you think? Do you have trouble making eye contact?

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7 Books Perfect for Commuting

Sometimes you need to be whisked away from the everyday, boring commute. If you get to work via the subway, are a consultant who travels via plane multiple times a week, or need an interesting audiobook for your drives into work, these seven reads are sure to help you pass any length of time...

The Girl from the Sea - Shalini Boland

I haven't read this one yet, though I just received an excellent recommendation from a friend of mine. A girl washes up on shore with no memory of how it happened, and it's her experience of amnesia and running into the people who she can no longer recall that bring her back. It's officially on my holds list.  

Perfect for: commuting back from work and at home sipping a glass of wine, lengthier trips preferred

Lie Still - Julia Haeberlin  

I am so obsessed with Julia Haeberlin's books. She crafts the most gloriously horrifying twists into beautiful writing of psychological thrillers. The last two I read had me clearing my meetings and workouts in order for me to finish, so...

Perfect for: commuting back on a Friday and a weekend free of plans, lengthier trips preferred

Devil in Spring - Lisa Kleypas  

Sometimes, you don't want something scary or overtly educational when you're going too and from work. That's when I usually turn to romance novels and traditionally deemed 'beach reads'. This is the latest historical romance novel by Lisa Kleypas (correct me if I'm wrong) and the first one I've read of hers. I was absolutely addicted and read it when I woke up and before bed until it was finished. A marriage of convenience coupled with high passion and great humor, this book couldn't be better.

Perfect for: commutes when you don't have to pay attention but might be disrupted, any length

The Girls - Emily Cline

Young author gets a wild advance to write a book that closely parallels the Manson murders. I sat on the waiting list at the library for four months and checked every morning to see what number I currently held. When I finally had the book, I was stuck in my final weeks of college work, but I read the book in every moment of my free time. While it wasn't exactly what I was expecting, it was well-written  and eerie. Plus, the cover art is so gorgeous, I want to buy it in hard copy just to keep on my book shelf. 

Perfect for: commutes to work, any length  

Weird in a World That's Not - Jennifer Romolini

I bought this book after reading several poignant articles about interviewing and owning your individuality in the workplace. I would read them avidly, scroll down to the bottom, and see they were excerpts from Romolini's new book. I finally decided I had to read the book and purchased it to read and read again. I haven't regretted it at all, and I know it will come in handy this week without a doubt.

Perfect for: commutes to an interview or new job when you're a self-classified weirdo, any length

The Grownup - Gillian Flynn

Gillian Flynn wrote spine chilling Gone Girl, in case you've been living under a rock lately, and this short story is a quick, fun way to transport you out of current life and into a spooky read . I devoured this in one sitting, and while the ending was kind of predicatable, the fact that it was a short story made it like watching a movie. 

Perfect for: commuting to work, at least 45 minutes each way or longer plane rides for consulting or interviews

The Year of Yes - Shonda Rhimes

If you need a self-confidence booster, no one does it better than white-hat wearing, gladiator, Shonda Rhimes. This book, from the first page of quotes (where she quotes her own script, aka being a badass), is inspirational in a nontraditional-inspiration-script way. She talks about her experiences being a total boss, how she's managed it all, and how her world changed by saying yes more. 

Perfect for: commuting to work, any length

+What did you think of these seven books for commuting to work? Have you read any of them? 

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How to Say Goodbye at a Party

Five words: it is an art form. 

I first read about the Irish exit here. I was a little shocked about the idea of guests leaving a party without first saying goodbye. However, the more I thought about it, the more I recognized how much of a bummer pausing conversation to say goodbye to someone can be at the height of a fun night. I think back to the latest party I threw, and I was always slightly dimmed when my favorite people (aka anyone there) had to leave. 

I've had it go both ways, though. On one hand, a large party where a few guests slip out the door without saying goodbye is fine, but a smaller party becomes more complicated. Also, at large events, like weddings, if you know the couple very personally or are in the wedding, you should never leave without saying farewell. 

If you're worried about your friends, “this is key,” says Seth Stevenson in this Slate post, “They probably won’t even notice that you’ve left." If you're a little worried, just send a thank-you email in the morning with a lovely anecdote from the event.

Since I'm a sucker for those last tight hugs before departing, I would choose to do this at a larger event or if I'm sure I'll see them again (or see them regularly). What do you think? 

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+ Would you Irish Exit? 

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