Public Displays of Affection: The Dos and Don'ts

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A little goes a looooong way. 

Note from the Editor: This is a new series called Weekly Niceties. It's bits of etiquette, finer details, and an emphasis on infusing class into the 21st century in a non-stodgy way. We seem to be on a bit of a relationship kick lately. Cheers! Xx. 

I've cautioned myself away from this topic because of the many forms PDA can take and the difference in comfortability each person has with his or her own sexuality. Eventually, though, I realized it boils down to a necessary social and situational awareness. There is a significant difference, as I am sure we can all agree, in hand holding or placing a hand at the small of someone's back and groping one's significant other in public. I believe that great love is rarely flaunted publicly but rather shows itself through attentiveness, active listening, trailing gazes, and whispered comments. The emotion and pride underlying each of those actions is demonstration enough of the love one feels for another. It is in that opinion that I follow very simple rules when it comes to public displays of affection:

DO:

+ Praise your partner publicly by highlighting their accomplishments, engaging them in conversation, and celebrating their success regardless of how mundane it may be to you. 

+ Hold hands if the situation permits (i.e. maybe not while bowling but definitely when you're at a party or out to dinner).

+ Kiss your partner on the cheek as you leave or sit down beside them if it does not interrupt the conversation or flow of events or cause anyone discomfort at the action.

DONT:

+ Make out in public spaces in such a manner that it impacts others' ability to talk or move about the area freely. 

+ Grope one another or have sexual intercourse of any kind. 

My opinion is generally along the following lines: if you would be uncomfortable to see someone else do it in front of you, don't do it. Remember that if you're in the midst of a great love, the world will know by the way you talk about them, cherish their existence, and weave them into your life. 

Cheers to rosy affection and timeless loves! Xx. 
 

+What's your opinion on PDA? Yay or nay? Anything I missed? Let's discuss.

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Who Pays on a First Date?

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Awkward moment avoided. 

Note from the Editor: This is a new series called Weekly Niceties. It's bits of etiquette, finer details, and an emphasis on infusing class into the 21st century in a non-stodgy way.Cheers! Xx. 

This is a sticky situation for two reasons. One, it brings up the topic of money and the questions that come with having money (or not having it), and two, it requires a little initiative and willingness to be momentarily uncomfortable. Both of these already have me cringing, but after our last Weekly Niceties post about Dating Basics, you know I've had my fair share of first date dinner bills, so I'm here to offer up some advice. 

First, breathe. It is a minute out of a probably excellent date where you have to handle something very adult. You can do it. Just take a deep breath.

And then follow this super simple tip:

Regardless of your expectation of who pays, lead with the line, "shall we split the bill?". I would say 95% of the time, your date will decline your offer, but for that five percent, you no longer look like you're just there for free food and drinks (which hopefully you are not). You could also offer to pay it in it's entirety, but asking to split is an excellent compromise if you do not have the means or the desire to cover the bill. Personally, I always make sure to have enough money in my bank account to pay the whole night in case of extenuating circumstances, bad dates, or just to be on the safe side.

+ All advice aside, do you normally pay or split on a first date?

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Dating Basics 101

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Because there are a few things you can do to be the best date ever. 

Note from the Editor: This is a new series called Weekly Niceties. It's bits of etiquette, finer details, and an emphasis on infusing class into the 21st century in a non-stodgy way. Cheers! Xx. 

So I've been on a lot of dates this year. I've also been on a lot of bad dates this year. I am by no means an expert, but I've definitely nailed my dating skills down to a few must-dos. This week's installment of Weekly Niceties is all about dating basics.

It all boils down to making both you and your date feel relaxed and at ease. If you find yourself in an uncomfortable dating situation, get out of there with zero qualms. Do not, I repeat do not, waste your precious time on a bad date. 

Without further ado, here are five tips to having the best dating experience ... 

1. Be On Time

It goes without saying that neither party likes that moment where it's a toss up between being late or stood up. Being on time shows your date you care about their time, and it is worth the extra effort to be punctual. 

2. Dress Appropriately

I recently went on a date to a nice restaurant wearing a pretty new dress, but the guy I was with showed up in gym shorts and a T-shirt. It definitely showed me his take on the whole situation. Dressing appropriately doesn't just mean making sure you are casual if it's a relaxed date or black tie if it's a fancy one. It means being aware of your situation and demonstrating the respect you have for yourself and your possible partner. 

3. Go Easy on the Alcohol

If you are of drinking age and you like alcohol, please get a drink and love it. But there's nothing worse than looking across the table and realizing your date is drunk. Drink in moderation and respect that too much alcohol does not mean consent. 

4. Keep Cool

It's all about maintaining composure. I think it is safe to assume we are on top of our behavior when out on a first date (or second or third). It's worth it to demonstrate your respect for others beyond just your date. It shows you aren't faking it to your date just for the sake of appearances. If you're driving and running late, don't beep your horn or ride someone's bumper. If someone cuts in front of you, don't go off on them or spend the rest of the night complaining. Take a deep breath, and go with the flow. 

5. Don't Sweat the Expectations

With dating comes a lot of expectations from yourself, your friends, and for goodness sakes, literally everyone with an opinion. Sex on the first date, kisses on the first date, a woman being more forward, a man driving, who walks who back to their house, etc. Try and block out the noise. Listen to what you want from your date and know this can change from circumstance to circumstance. If you want to kiss them, and they reciprocate, do it! If you want to round all the bases and they agree, do that too! If you want to have your best friend text you to get out of the date, do that too. The dating world is your oyster, so don't listen to the outside noise -- trust me, no matter what you do, there will always be someone who tells you you shouldn't have done it, so do what you want anyway. 

You've got this dating thing! Xx. 

+ What's your favorite dating tip? Share in the comments below!

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