Exercising & Eats on Vacay

Why do we do this to ourselves? We workout exhaustively and diet whole-heartedly in the days leading up to vacation, and then once we've jetted away or arrived at our location, it's all been so much that we break down and yell at ourselves for not 'behaving' a proper way. And as a result, we end up not enjoy vacation because of our destructive, limiting, and restrictive thoughts. We are no longer filled with the love, light, and excitement like we hoped for in our vacation planning. Gosh that stinks(!!!). So I repeat. Why do we do this to ourselves?

So I've (Emily, here) come up with a few ideas to help you figure out how to enjoy vacation: eating what your body needs, moving when you feel right, and finally ending the vicious train of thought that weaves it's way into your mind.

So how do we start? Here are three simple steps:

First, let yourself off the hook. Letting yourself truly enjoy vacation is a must and oh so important. How much time do you spend on vacation a year? Do you even regularly go on vacation? Let's say it's one week a year. That's 1/52 of your year. If you don't think you could bounce back in the other 51 weeks of the years, you have another thing coming. Relax and do things you don't do when you're at home on the grind. You have plenty of other days to do the exact same thing, so why not change it up for the week and enjoy?

Evaluate the food sitch for your duration. Where are ya? A hotel? A house? Someone's place? Are you only going out to eat, or can you get yummies to stock up your room, place, etc? The vacation I've escaped on luckily allows me to go out and grab groceries, so I can keep eating what I normally do (minus my green smoothie, darn it). If you're in a hotel, there's likely a mini fridge. My 'kitchen' at school consists of a microfridge, so yes, it's doable to stock it up with fresh goods and keep up with delicious eats. If there is absolutely no way to stock up anything, don't hesitate to invest in your meal plans. Find great restaurants, go out and snag fresh veggies and fruits for when you go out and explore, or run and grab your favorite meals from a local cafe when you can.

You do not have to have a 'perfect diet or exercise routine'. Ever. But mainly on vacation. Okay. So there is no such thing as perfect. If anything, there is perfectly imperfect which is something that all of you are, but there is no such thing as straight up perfect. And there is no such thing as one-size-fits-all whether that's in pajamas, pants, exercise, or diet. Nope. I'm here to tell you that if someone lost 1000 pounds on this kind of diet, it doesn't mean you couldn't gain 50 on the same one. Everyone is different. So stop freaking out because you aren't obeying this perfect ideal. That being said, especially on vacation, stop and smell the roses. You aren't going to lose or gain ten pounds over the span of a week or two. I know that you're saying Gee, Em, if anyone can, I can. But you can't. I promise it's physically impossible (okay maybe there is one percent chance, but not all of you are in the one percent).

In NYC, it's the first time I've ever had a nice, vegan meal in an upscale restaurant. So I let the stereotypical salad finally loose, and I found a great amazing meal. And I'm so glad I did, because those kinds of nights are few and far between. Same thing with working out. I brought my yoga mat and have online subscriptions to my two favorite workout places, but I haven't felt like getting up early and making myself super sweaty and sore. So instead, I pop out of bed, do a few stretches, maybe a couple sun salutations, hold a little plank, or do none of the above, and then go in search of my cup of joe. It's really no big deal, and the sooner one can internalize that notion that you can enjoy your life without making yourself miserable first, the happier and healthier one will be.

Finally, breathe. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and exhale through your mouth. Let yourself relax. Drop your shoulders away from your ears and honor yourself. Have you been pushing yourself too hard? Is your body begging for a slow down? Does it want that extra plate of spaghetti, because you're hungry, and it's amazing, and you feel like you haven't had carbs in an eternity (which is something we could talk about if you need support around a foodie lifestyle that works for you)? Listen to your answers. Listen to yourself. You know what you need, and given half a chance, the body can heal itself. Use this time away to recharge, get empowered, and return to your life invigorated and ready. Like I said above, you won't lose ten pounds or gain ten pounds on vacation, so stop picking on food and your body, telling yourself such things. Enjoy. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, and breathe. It's only as complicated as you make it.

 So there you have it! Three simple (beyond simple, really) ways to keep perspective and enjoy your vacation, exercise and eats style.

1. Evaluate Your Food Sitch. 2. There is no such thing as the perfect diet or fitness plan. 3. Ya gotta breathe, babe.

Be sure to tune into my snapchat (@efriend216) or follow me on instagram or twitter (both @yourfriend_em) for my travel adventures and foodie finds! xx

3.2.1. Go. || 5.11.15

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It's been quite the hectic, intense, emotional, crazy, wild, hazy past few weeks around here. I'm back from school and now the work really starts. Get ready for new series, videos, business expansions, laughter, light, love, and hope over here on the blog. Fun stuff! For now, I'm working behind the scenes, but I'll let you in on the exciting adventures as they come across. Hope you're doing well -- time for summer!

I'm grateful for research, for love, for friendships, and most importantly for my mom. Love to all of you mother's out there -- yesterday may have been your national day, but in truth, your day is every day, because your job never ends.

xx.

Catch up on the Embrace Yourself Series Pt.I / Pt.II / Pt.III

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Want to feel like a million bucks with high energy, self-love, and freedom from fad-diets? Let’s work together.

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Relationships || Embrace Yourself Series Pt. III

End the Relationship Madness

Relationships are hard to have. You give a lot of yourself in the hopes that someone respects, cares, and encourages your hopes, dreams, loves, and wishes. Sometimes we look for intimate relationships, others just personable. Sometimes we want true companionship; other times we want pure and honest romance. No matter what is desired, its about knowing what you want out of your relationship going into it and being willing to stand your ground for what you deserve.

It’s easy to feel like you must put another above yourself in order for them to feel valued and open. However, suppressing yourself to bolster another does nothing but diminish your light. So let’s talk about the kind of relationships you want and how to feel confident in having them.

Familial: The relationships we have with family members are not always the positive, loving perspective we see on TV or in the movies (unless you count Parenthood or The Family Stone). Do what you can to connect to the people in your family, but know that they do not need to be your best friends. It’s awesome if they are – really that’s awesome – but a bulk of the population have problems within their family, and instead of acknowledging them and finding what allows them to thrive individually, they bury their hurt and pain until they have changed to become someone unrecognizable. Just like we do in our sexual and companionable relationships, we must find what our own souls need to thrive and bring it to the table, accepting nothing but that from other people. If you have grown estranged from a family member and are looking to connect again, it’s okay if the best you can do is a text or an email. Work to make a relationship thrive the best you can. Maybe, you cannot stand your sibling when you are in the same space. Could you thrive on an email update once or twice a month? Maybe a phone call? Find what works for you. There are no right or wrong ways to foster and develop a relationship. Yes, some books say you must be able to sit down face to face and share everything to be considered a harmonious and supportive within your family. That is simply unrealistic. We aren’t put on this earth to like everyone, but we can love everyone’s own lives and appreciate them for marching to their own drums. If that drum makes you want to shove your head beneath a pillow and scream, maybe you shouldn’t keep up too closely with that person – but still send them the love and support they need to grow. My family is wacky and dysfunctional and so far from perfect it’s comical, but I’m trying not to let that keep me from accepting the beautiful lights that are my family members.

Friendship/ Companionship: So if you can read this, chances are you’ve had a few friends in your life. It has been ingrained in our minds that friendships are an integral part of our lives. Without this type of connection, there is a lack of social support and engagement. But, let’s consider the obligatory friendships. The ones that drain our emotions, maybe take too much of what we are willing to give, and demand too much of ourselves. These are not healthy friendships. We will talk later about what it means to break up with friends and how to do so safely and comfortable (or as comfortable as possible), but for now let’s keep it simple. Sometimes, we aren’t meant to be friends with the same people forever. People truly come in our lives when we need them the most and leave when they are no longer necessary. And this is okay. I repeat: it’s okay to grow apart. Whenever we try to force something that doesn’t exist, we’re only hurting ourselves more.

So take a pause: do you have friendships that are one-sided, any that hold you back from reaching your true potential, or any that make you feel less than the amazing god or goddess you are? If the answer above was yes, how can you move forward? Is it easier to have a conversation with the person and lay it all out on the table, or do you need to pull away? How does that make you feel emotionally? Any and all responses are natural and okay. Try to respect yourself enough to ask for what you deserve and truly listen to that answer. A good friendship should be filled with support, encouragement, and healthy communication. If those things are not being met and you are often feeling worse after being with this friend than better, start to break down the relationship into how it developed, how you and the other person have evolved, and where you both are in your lives in this moment. Be honest with yourself and these truths. Use them to empower you to make healthy decisions that allow you to be surrounded by a supportive and loving circle.

Sexual / Intimate: Intimacy is an integral part of human wellbeing. When sexual pleasure is found in the right places, studies have shown that we are happier, lighter, more balanced, and more receptive and understanding in times of conflict or disagreement. That being said, sex of coercion or force or just for the sake of doing it without a real desire and more of convenience can be damaging to our psyche and emotional wellbeing -- as well as a whole host of other things; if you or someone you know has been affected by sexual trauma of one type or another, I encourage you to reach out and get the help from someone trained in working with survivors (if you need any resources, please contact me).

So how can you gain all these amazing benefits in an awesome and pleasurable way? The best piece of advice I have for everyone is confidence. Be confident in what you want, in your body shape and size, and in your sexy partner. Bring your strongest traits making you feel empowered and alive into the bedroom. No one beats another person up as much as you do when you are staring in the mirror. The only person letting his or her mind wander to stretch marks, sagging, extra weight, or other ‘flaws’ is the person that has them in the first place. The other person? They’re thinking how amazing it feels, what position to try next, and even what could be done to elevate pleasure. Tell them what you want, own who you are, and don’t let your insecurities hold you back. Be in the moment, embrace who you are and all that you are, and let that spin into a kick-butt bed sesh.

Let’s Summarize

+ you deserve the freaking moon, so don’t settle for less + stand up for yourself and expect kindness and love + if someone is diminishing your light, they aren’t worth it + embrace who you are and where you are in your life and evaluate your relationships accordingly + you are allowed to grow, change, and evolve – just because you used to jive with someone, doesn’t mean you have to for the rest of your life + any type of relationship needs to make you feel supported, loved, and encouraged – I repeat, do not settle for less

Want to feel like a million bucks with high energy, self-love, and freedom from fad-diets? Let’s work together.

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